Thursday, October 10, 2013

Forgiveness

I truly believe that no matter what kind of person you are, you can not get along with people all the time.

Is there a day, time frame that one of your kids/grand kids have went through a phase that bothers you? I think we all could shake our heads yes. The 3 year old melt downs just about pushed me over the edge at times. Then I'd fall asleep, think about a cute thing they did that day, and say, "Wow I have a funny, amazing child." All those temper tantrums that happened that day are nothing compared to that beautiful child I have.

We get bothered. Some of us are more forgiving than others. Let's face it, life is too short to stay mad. My Dad taught me that. His uncle and Dad fought for years. My Dad would sneak in visits with them both. They were fighting over a farm house that my uncle got through a will. Was it my dad's uncle's fault he inherited a farm house? Not really. Did my Grandpa have a right to be mad? I suppose so. He wanted his chunk of pie, so to speak. The difference me and those men, is that neither one of them ever woke up forgiving.

When I don't like something that's happening I can't always deal with it at the time. Weeks, months may go by, finally something triggers me off. It's like I don't even realize the situation bothered me as much as it does, until I confronted with the situation again.

Today it was at work. For years I've gone with my class to Kansas City. The field trip was fun! Other co-workers would find it annoying to get up at 5:30 am, and roll in late around 7 pm. Not me. I was excited to go. It was a trip down memory lane. I went to college there. All the sudden they swiped the trip from me. The trip went in a different class, so no one asked me if I still wanted to go. They just gave it to another person, who teaches the current class it is in. I know, no big deal! Now I don't need to get up early, and go home late. But I enjoyed the trip. It got moved to a day I teach, and a class I don't teach in. The guy that's going is my helper on that day. He asked just this morning, "Can I get out of helping Alissa to go to KC?" I happened to over hear this.

If something happens at home I tend to talk about what's bothering me. Then move on.

At work it's different. What seems to be a big deal to me, is not to someone else. I start to question my own emotions. Am I silly for being upset? Maybe I'm over reacting, and so on. As a woman I react differently than my male co-workers. They fly off the handle on things. I sit in my office and debate with myself for awhile before I say anything. I try and look at my problem from all sides, which sometimes makes the problem much bigger than it really is. I tend to over think things.

I've noticed that work, and swimming lessons they do not like my lengthy evaluations. So I address things at the moment now. People react better when they don't get accused. I have to be very careful about saying how I feel without saying, "You are wrong, I'm right." tone to it.

In an email I address it as I feel this way and that. I'm writing now because you have asked me in the past to address things at the moment, not in an evaluation. Towards the end I ask if I've understood something wrong, or if I did something wrong please let me know. No accusations. The crazy thing was, is right after I wrote the email I didn't care what the answer was. I just felt better for writing my thoughts down.

What do you do when you get mad? Do you have trouble letting things go? Do you get mad at big things, or little things more?

8 comments:

Optimistic Existentialist said...

When I get mad I like to take time to myself to let my emotions simmer and then die down before I react.

Ai Sakura said...

I'm usually an easy-going person but some things I do get worked up about. Funny you wrote this because a few days back, I got really mad over something another blogger did.

To most, her post prob seemed funny and lighthearted as she poked some fun at people and revealed some "secrets" about other bloggers. However, she got the secrets from normal conversations people had with her. Things like blog rates and people they secretly liked.. And she revealed it all in her post!

To me I thought it was crossing a line, but she thought I was overreacting when I pointed it out to her that it may be funny, but it may also affect those involved in a negative way. Arggh! I don't know. Now I feel like I just shouldn't give my opinion to anyone.

Ai @ Sakura Haruka

Harry Flashman said...

Sorry you had that negative experience. Don't let it make you feel badly. Everyone has that kind of turmoil at work. Everyone. It is not a reflection on you in any way.

Veronica Lee said...

I used to have a problem letting go when I got mad but as I grow older, I find that I am getting better at handling my emotions especially anger. I make bread! I knead all my anger and frustrations into the dough.

Harry is right. You shouldn't feel badly. Just give yourself some time to simmer down.

Masshole Mommy said...

It's kind of weird, but I get upset at the little things, too. I have an easier time letting go of major things that upset me than the little ones. I always thought that was strange, but I guess I am not the only one.

mail4rosey said...

It depends. Most things I'm great with, a few I could use some improvement. ;)

I'm sorry you lost your field trip.
:(

Theresa said...

Well, I've been really pissed off at my sister for a while now. I haven't talked to her in over 2 years. I don't see that changing any time soon.

For little things, I rant to my husband, then let it go. Or sometimes I will be confrontational on the spot. I guess it just depends on the situation.

~ Noelle said...

When I do get mad, I have a hard time letting it go.. (with others... with broxton, it seems to be so much faster to get over... as he really doesn't make me "mad" just irks me when he acts up sometimes...)

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