My Name is Not Elise

My name is Alissa. It rhymes with Melissa. For some reason people in older generations can not get my name right. The old lady that lived next door when we bought our house called me, "Elise". I corrected her the first 5 times, then decided if she wanted to call me, "Elise" that was fine. Really how often did I see her? Not very often. 

It turns out it's not just an older generation thing. Mica has some really good friends from Ethiopia. They are such nice people. All of them call me, "Elise". Their oldest son loves Travis. Travis helps him at the Lowes Clinic at times. Their middle child loves Mica. He's in Mica's class. They chat all the time about this and that. Travis and I have joked about how they have a bromance. Their youngest adores me. She drew me a picture, and gave it to me the last time we saw them.

They've had us over for dinner a few times. Generous indeed. It's not necessary to have us all over, but they do. It's part of their culture. I invite them to go to Lowes Clinic, we've had them over once, and recently we invited them to go to an arboretum. 

When we got to the arboretum the kids ran and ran. I'm ok with that. That's what parks and arboretums are for. Isaak got left behind, so I was waiting for him. He went to jump over a stream, and landed in the water. Then he was all tears. Isaak: "Daddy's going to be mad at me! It looks like I peed my pants..." When Isaak starts in on his whine, good luck ending it. I told him that he was not in trouble because it was an accident. I still heard about it. The Mom seemed genuinely concerned about Isaak. 

Later on their middle child got dirty. The Mom said, "I just washed those. Oh no!" I said, "Kids will be kids." 

The Mom got bit a few times by a mosquito. She freaked out and said, "Oh no am I going to be ok?" She grabbed my bug spray and said, "Can you squirt this on me?" I squirted it on her. While I was doing that I thought...This is going to do nothing to help your bites. It's to prevent bites. Then I thought...The Placebo Effect. If it makes her feel better by having me spray bug spray on her after she's already been bitten great. When I got home Travis said, "You mean to tell me you didn't tell her what bug spray is for?" I said, "No. The thought of telling her what bug spray is for didn't even cross my mind. All I thought about was that it was making her feel better." 

That's not the first out there thing that's happened. During the winter Travis went to pick up the boys. He passed their middle child - Mica's best friend on the sidewalk. Travis said, "Hi how are you doing?" He replied, "Fine." After Travis picked up the boys, Mica's friend was still standing in the same spot on the sidewalk. Travis asked, "Is something wrong?" Mica's friend said, "My mom doesn't want me to get snow in the car. The 3 or 4 foot grass patch had snow on it, and it was in front of their car. Instead of telling them that snow is just water, and that it wouldn't hurt their car Travis walked off not really knowing what to say, or do. Travis said to me, "If Mica's friend wasn't so heavy I would have picked him up over the snow, and put him in the car. But he's too heavy for me to do that." 

These kind people need us to tell them what's up...I'm thinking. Hanging out with someone from a different culture is all new to me. I've worked with people from other places, but never hung out with them.  I did have a grandma from the Philippines. She did things different than my inner family did. I just let it be. She was older than me. I was a kid. I hope if I tell them how things work they don't get offended.

• I should let them know again that my name is not Elise. I get their different names right - they should get mine right to. 

• I should let them know that I love hanging out with them. That it's not common to hang out as families in the US. Part of friends getting together is to give the parent(s) a break from that child for a few hours. 

• It's ok for kids to get dirty. Yes it's more laundry, but kids are kids. 

• Bug spray is to prevent bug bites; not to heal them. 

• Snow is messy, but fine for a car. It's simply frozen water. If you don't want it in the car, put plastic bags or towels down to collect the moisture. You can't really get away from it.

I'm sure if I lived somewhere different than the US I'd need a little help understanding how things work. BTW this post is no way making fun of Mica's friends. I enjoy them. They have kind of an innocence that we don't have here. Much of what I like about them is what I'd be correcting them on. That's part of why it's so difficult to correct them.

Best Friends

Mica has a friend that he hangs out with all the time. I happen to call two boys that are the best of friends, having a bromance. According to the friend's mom they both are very smart, and connect on a mental level. It's funny because I try not to bring the fact that Mica does well in school up to him often. I don't want it to go to his head. I struggled in school big time when I was his age. We let him know he's doing a good with his homework and with grades, but we don't want him thinking he's all that!

His friend's family came to our house to pick up Mica 3 or 4 months ago. They made a trip to the library to play learning games. Then all of them came to our house to play. I wasn't expecting them to be there. My house wasn't exactly in the best of shape for visitors.

About four weeks ago we asked if his friend could go bowling? They could, and they all showed up. I was sort of shocked that they all came. His mom offered to help pay. I paid for their lanes and she paid for their shoes. She was wanting to give me more money, but I said, "No it's my treat."

About two weeks ago they asked if our family could come over to their house for lunch? We came with a huge salad, and homemade dressing. They had the works of Ethiopian food. We sat around on the ground and ate, and ate. They gave us special coffee, and tea. Their cousin showed up for the "Special Event". We were the "Special Event". We ended up staying for 5 hours that day. When we left I felt like they didn't want us to go.

I'm getting the idea that they do things as a whole family all the time. It's the Mom, and three kids. The Dad works all the time. Their Grandma and Aunt live with them. They are a nice family. I'm just not used to doing things with a friend's whole family. I do have to say that I'd rather have Mica be friends with a family that cares about their children, than a family that's not there for them. That Mom is there for her kids!

Some times I want my kids to play with just their friend. In my head I'm thinking, "Go have fun and play!" They are only kids once. Soon enough they'll loose their creative play. I need a break from entertaining my own children. Go play, be kids.

I struggled with what to do next. They are a family that wants to get together. They respect us highly. It's not like they are rude. They are very nice. They have done things for us. This must be how they do things in Ethiopia (where they are from). I'm not sure how birthday parties will be. His whole family will show up. I don't know if that's bad, good, or if it's just different?

We invited their family to come to the Lowes Clinic with us this last weekend.  They were half an hour late, so we were all wondering if they were going to show up...thankfully they did. I thought the Lowes Clinic would be perfect to invite them to because it's free, and they have never been there.

I helped the sister in 1st grade with her project, Daddy helped the brother in 3rd grade, and Mica and their Mom helped Mica's friend that's in 2nd grade. Mica's friend said, "I have to say that I'm much more of a technology kid! I'm just not a builder type." We all laughed when his friend said that. It sounded funny coming from a 2nd grader. 

Mica was laughing at his best friend.

They liked the event so much, that they wanted me to sign them up for the next one. It seems as though we have Lowes Clinic partners now. 

Isaak was grumpy because his recycling truck lost a piece. Even though Mica's friend's sister found it, he wasn't out of his grump state. 

Here's what they made:

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