- I just like many people was so sad to hear about Robin Williams passing. I wish there was more places to go for mental health. In regards to mental health I've only been so depressed that I wasn't myself once in my life.
I've never really shared this with too many people: It was when I was in college. My younger sister got pregnant. She was so young. I didn't hear that she was pregnant until Christmas time, and she was due around Valentines Day that year. Around Valentines Day I went home to see the baby be born, and I watched him die. It was my first time watching a life enter this world, and it was my first time watching someone die. He cried and breathed like a sick animal would. He had Trisomy 18 like my nephew Emerson does. I helped pick out a casket. There isn't too much of a selection for babies, they look more like coolers than caskets. I went to a funeral, and went back to college all in one extended weekend. I didn't sleep much for a month. I honestly don't remember much during that time. It was all a blur. I withdrew from my friends, and they withdrew from me. Who wants to hang out with someone that is sad all the time? The reason I'm telling you this story is just to illustrate that life happens. Sometimes it's pretty, and sometimes it's not. When depression set in it's not who I was. It didn't define me. It was a mask around me. Everything was hazy. Getting help didn't cross my mind. Who would I have gone to anyways? My family was miles away, and my friends weren't exactly there for me. I felt like I was selfish. My sister was the one that went through this stuff, not me. I didn't have a right to be sad. That made me hurt more. My sister's pregnancy surprised us all, that we kept it a secret from many people. It just didn't seem natural to talk about it. My parents aren't the type to hide things, but the situation was complicated. I'm not sure what snapped me out of being depressed. I am so glad that I never have felt that low ever again.
- The boss man had me play an app game 7 times now; to test it out. I know most anyone would love playing games at work. I am blessed to even have a job. I also need to get things together for my classes. The app is religious in nature. It was done for a church. I feel like someone is trying to convert me, while I'm playing.
- I traveled the interstate more than I'd like to over the summer. I have to in order to get to and from work when the boys have been dropped off at my parents. It's the most time efficient way. There's one lane that ends when the interstate switches directions. There's always 1 or 2 cars that think that lane is a race track. They speed up just to get in front of everyone. It's funny how cutting is a bad thing when you are in elementary school; here adults were doing it.
- I hate when I shop online to get 1 cute thing, and all the sudden I find myself on an everyday mailing list. I went to unsubscribe, and found out I had to call to do so. Annoying!
They wanted my reason for closing the account. Once I gave them a reason, which I didn't think I needed to give them, they tried talking me into staying with them. Once I have my mind up, there's no since in trying to convince me otherwise. It just annoyed me more, and made me happy I canceled out of our relationship. I was already annoyed that I had to call them in the first place.
I had multiple reasons for ending our relationship:
•I didn't want their emails every day. I get plenty of emails in general, and didn't need more.
•Their clothes were just ok. They weren't worse than somewhere else, and they weren't better.
•I didn't understand the VIP status that I had, nor did I want to read about it, to learn about it.
•My 1 and only excuse for them was that my boy's have more clothes than I do. They don't need anymore.
- A week before school started we were contacted by the PTA board to bring a meal up to the teachers. School hadn't even started yet. If they wanted help with this try contacting me a week ahead of time. Not a day or two before. Not this time. Sorry teachers. Sorry PTA Board. I'm busy planning my own classes; along with my own meals.
Some people may wonder, how can a person such as Robin Williams that had everything could be so low to commit suicide? I don't think very many people set out one day thinking, You know what I'm going to die today. More then likely a haze takes over them. Adding addiction, bouts of depression, and finding out he had Parkinson's disease to the mix makes things so complicated. No one can know what he was thinking. I do feel for his family.