I don't know what the deal is, but this year has been an emotional one for Isaak AKA Zeek.
He had the whole marker incident happen at school. Where punk kids took the markers we donated removed the caps and stomped on them. He was pretty upset about that. So much so that he had to go talk to the councilor. For the record that was the first time in history he was sent to talk to the councilor. It wasn't because he was violent; just upset.
Then he forgot his homework one night last week. He cried hard for an hour thinking that he was going to get in trouble. He didn't get in trouble. I told him that we all make mistakes. It's not something he does regularly. I've left my laptop at home when I had to teach. Travis has left his wallet at home when he went out. It happens.
He's been having problems with one so called friend. I blogged about this problem already. I keep thinking that he and this kid will just get over their problems someday. I don't even care if this kid is someone he wants to stop liking. We don't have to like everyone. It's just that this kid is in his circle of friends. I fear that if Isaak continues to hold a grudge he'll be the one that's left out of that circle. So far this hasn't happened yet.
The kid laughed when Isaak fell way back in August. Isaak fell hard, and can't shake that this kid laughed at him when he was hurt. He never apologized. To make matters worse the kid kept telling Isaak, "I only need two friends, and you're not one of them."
Isaak is not one that forgets easily. Things come up that happened a year ago - like they were yesterday.
Do I expect Isaak and this kid to be best friends? No. I wouldn't want to be best friends with a kid that laughed at me, or was rude to me either.
Their teacher decided to have them not talk for 2 or 3 days, and then see how things went. Those days have come and gone. The little boy came up to Isaak at the Fall Festival on Friday to say, "Isaak have you seen so and so?" Isaak shrugged his shoulders. He refused to talk to him.
I said, "Isaak it's been past 2 or 3 days. You can talk to him now."
Isaak said, "Or I can just continue to not talk to him."
I said, "Isaak you don't have to be best friends with him. Don't go out of your way to talk to him, but don't be rude when he comes to talk to you."
Isaak said, "Or I can just continue to not talk to him. He's mean to me."
I said, "Yes his actions were rude. Maybe he doesn't know how to act when someone falls. I think it's funny when I fall. I'm not sure why I do. Sometimes I laugh when I feel like crying just because my emotions are all mixed up."
Later on that night I found out the kid's parents are having problems. I didn't bring this up to Isaak. I don't want rumors to start at school. Another friend's grandparent told me that. His Mom has leaned on her to watch him many times over the last month.
I let Isaak think about what I said.
The next day I had another talk with Isaak. I told him about a story from when I was little:
One day I was over at my best friend's house. All the sudden she got a call from neighbor friends to go swimming with them. She wanted to go. Her sister told her it was rude. She didn't care. I left very sad.
The next day she called me up to see if I could play. I said, "No you're not my friend anymore."
I wish I knew how we made up. I think she apologized, and all was forgiven.
Do you ever think that maybe things happen in the past on purpose just so you can pass those stories along for the future?
Maybe my friend is telling her kid a story about something I did to her to teach him a lesson.
Isaak said, "I know where you're going with this... I'm not going to be best friends with so and so." He's good with connecting the dots.
I said, "I don't expect you to be best friends with him." The point is... is that the friend of mine that went to the swimming pool over hanging out with me made a mistake. We all make mistakes. If you ask her, she'll have stories about me. Things that I did that made her feel bad. She's still my friend today." I showed him pictures on facebook. I told him, "Even you have hung out with my friend's son."
I said, "Sometimes it's not about forgiving. It can be. Often times it's about being the bigger, better person by letting negative things go. Just know that people make mistakes." As I said that I was thinking about adults that don't deal with negative people at all, and write them out of their lives. I get that too. I just know kids make more mistakes hopefully than adults do.
Conferences are this week. We may get some things solved there. Even the councilor is usually there. I may talk with her about this friend conflict.
Isaak's always had a plethora amount of empathy. When I told him I had to go into work one evening he wanted to know why. I told him that my boss's mom had passed away. How I had to cover for him. He nearly started to cry.
To think one of my co-workers raised 5 boys and 2 girls. He told me, "Alissa you're going to love having boys. They let stuff go; when girls do not. There isn't drama with boys." Boy was he wrong about boys letting things go, and not having drama. He was right about something, I love my boys.