Monday, February 20, 2012

Sibling Rivalry

Do you or did you have problems with your kids having sibling rivalry?

I'm sure my sisters and I did have issues with sibling rivalry growing up. Aunt Terra was 5 years younger and Aunt Angela was 2 years older than I. Most of the time we were not competing for mom and dad's attention. I'm sure they heard, "It's not fair!" some times. Looking back each kid should have slightly different rules based on their age, personality and maturity. My little sister shouldn't of have the same responsibilities as I did. She was 5 years younger. My older sister was more experienced socially than I. I was more of a wall flower, that stuck with my little group of friends. Venturing out of that little circle was intimidating to me. My sister's an I usually fought over stupid things. Like "Angie took my skirt and gave it to her friend!," "Terra cut my Barbie's hair off!" and "Angie's messing up my side of the room!" Now it seems stupid; at the time those issues seemed HUGE.

Mica and Isaak fight just like any other siblings do. It seems like now they play together in a more sophisticated way. Isaak will usually go along with whatever Mica has planned. Except sometimes Isaak isn't always in Mica's picture. That's ok, he doesn't always have to be. I don't want Isaak playing with Legos that are for ages 7 and up. Then Mica will be watching TV and Isaak decides that Mica should play catch with him. The refrigerator becomes a storage unit of balls that we take away.

Isaak's always been willing to help me. I'll ask, "Who wants to help me?" Isaak's always piped in by saying, "I do!" So he does. Mica's recently decided that he wants to help. Here's the catch, he only wants to help after Isaak says, "I do!" Here are different things that happen:
  • If I say, "Hey Mica how about you come in and help me?" Mica will say, "Ok." He helps for 2 minutes and decides that's enough and stops to go draw or build Legos. 
  • If I ask Isaak to help, Mica steps right in front of him {literally} and says, "No you always help! Then he proceeds to butt in on Isaak and Mommy time. I agree that Isaak helps more. He offers more. What used to be easy, Isaak helping; is now a struggle because Mica comes in to push Isaak out of the way. 
  • Sometimes I'll ask Mica to help, he gets tired of helping, Isaak comes in to help as well and Mica comes back in to say, "NO ISAAK {PUSH PUSH} I WAS HELPING MOM!"  
I have no problem with Mica stepping in to help me in the kitchen if that is what he really wants to do. It doesn't seem like he really wants to help though. He just wants to break in because Isaak has my attention.

A similar thing happens with cuddle time. We had a movie night on Saturday. The boys fought over who was going to cuddle with me. I tried getting them to take turns. Daddy was over on the opposite couch. It was me they were fighting over. 

Does anyone have any insight on sibling rivalry? I want to do what's right. It's not my intent to leave one child out of the picture. I don't like something fun turning into a fight.

1 comment:

~ Noelle said...

good luck with that...
i wish i had advice, but i don't....


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