A story involving our six year old-
On Friday Mica came home saying something to the affect that someone did something to him at recess that made him feel uncomfortable. He said to Daddy that he told a teacher and that teacher said, "Oh Mica I don't want to deal with you right now."
Daddy and I thought that was horrible that a teacher said that. It NEVER entered our minds that Mica could have been lying about the situation. Daddy emailed Mica's teacher his concerns.
Then when Daddy went to pick Mica up from school, he was confronted by three teachers. Mica was in fact bothered by a kid. What he lied about was in regards to what the teacher said. In fact Mica never told that teacher anything. Therefore that teacher did not say, "Oh Mica I don't want to deal with you right now."
When Daddy asked Mica why he lied? Mica said, "Because this good angel was sitting above me on one side, and an evil character was on the other side. The evil character won." We really could never get out of Mica why he lied. All he would say is that he did in fact lie. The only thing we could think of was a clash of personalities. I'm a college instructor. I know with experience no matter how I try to relate to all of my students, every once in awhile there is a clash of personalities. I have to say that I'm super lucky to relate and have positive experiences with the majority of my students. Every once in awhile student might dislike me because of a poor grade I gave them, a critique I gave them that they didn't agree with, I've caught a few plagiarizing, I've called them on it and they all the sudden decide they don't like me. Like I said, usually I don't have a problem like this. Every once in awhile I do. Maybe Mica and this teacher have a disconnect for some odd reason. The hard thing is, is I don't know the reason.
With Mica we felt his lie was was horrible because it really hurt a teacher's feelings. It also put Daddy in a rough spot because he was sticking up for Mica. Then when we found out Mica didn't need backing up; we felt horrible for this teacher.
Mica had to come home and write two apology letters. One to the teacher he lied about and another to a teacher he should have told the truth to. Then tonight while we swam at the Y for fun; Mica sat out on the bleachers. He didn't argue about his punishment. He knew that what he did was wrong.
A different story involving our three year old-
On Monday Daddy asked Isaak if he needed to go potty after preschool? Isaak said, "No." Daddy didn't much argue with him not going. Isaak often times says he doesn't have to go when he does. I wish we could break this. He knows how to use the potty, but sometimes is just too busy enjoying life to stop and go. Even though Daddy knows Isaak says, "No" when asked if he has to go potty, Daddy had his hands FULL. Cupcakes went as a special treat, then he had Isaak's crafts and Cousin Elijah's crafts as well. When Daddy got Isaak out of the car at home, he noticed Isaak was wet. Daddy asked Isaak, "Did your teachers take you potty?" Ready for the lie? Isaak said, "No! My teachers were too busy reading the Bible!" He goes to a private preschool. It's hard to know if one should laugh because his excuse was so funny, or scold him for lying? Isaak didn't get in trouble for his lie. It didn't hurt anyone, he also is 3 years old.
Daddy made him take his wet clothes off, take care of them, go potty and get dressed again. That I suppose was his punishment. He's in a, "I can't do it!" stage!
Have your kids ever lied? What did you do about it?
I imagine the way a parent reacts and the punishment varies with age and the impact of the lie.
We haven't gotten there yet. But I'm not looking forward to it. Hope there's not a genetic component to being prone to lying or we're in for it. Both Tony and I were terrible little liars as kids.
I am sure when my daughter was younger she did lie. I just don't remember what I did about it.
Sounds to me like you did the right thing making his stay out from swimming. Hopefully that will teach him.
I think you reacted appropriately by giving real consequences for it. I wish that when confronted about the lie that they'd then tell the truth. Another lie would upset me even more. :(
The lieing has begun here as well with my 3 year old :( I just get him to admit to the lie right now. Not sure what to do other than that. And what is it about 3 years olds "I can't do it" stage and "No I don't have to pee" but actually do and you now he does cause he is doing the potty dance?? LOL
Looks like you handled it appropriately... maybe now they see what happens they will learn from this...
When my boys were younger one lied ALL the time while the other did not. They are such opposites. My oldest so would have the teachers convinced that she made the mistake! Questioning her own eyes. Scary, hey? Turned out to be a phase that lasted years but through time, constant explaining why it's wrong with punishments and having bad things happen because of lying, he's turned competely around. I was consistant through it all and even though it was exhausting, all turned out for the best. Whew!
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