Saturday, March 17, 2012

Swimming - Isaak Sat Out

Last night we wanted to go swimming at the Y. We've been having a lot of problems with Isaak doing what we ask him to do. I think I said, "Take your clothes off!" five times. I even said a motivator, "We're going swimming!" in there. He likes to swim. Well little man sat around and threw his shirt at Mica, played and wouldn't strip down.

Daddy walks over and says in my ear, "Isaak's not going swimming tonight." It was time to leave {this was way later} and Isaak says, "I don't have my swimming suit on." I said, "Well you are not going swimming tonight." He wells up with tears and says, "But you didn't get my swimming suit on!"

We all went swimming and Isaak sat out. He whined and carried on at first. I was thinking I'd need to get out of the pool to take him home. No one else needs to listen to a cranky kid! Daddy took him in the locker room, had a talk and he seemed fine. Then we got a few books out of the swimming bag for him to look at.

How else do we as parents enforce that we are serious? He's almost four and is perfectly capable of striping his clothes off. Even if he would of asked me for help with a button or a zipper, I would have helped him.

We told him all the above. Isaak said, "Mommy I wanted to go swimming!" I said, "Isaak I wanted you to go swimming to!" He looked at me kind of odd. I said, "Next time if you get ready when I ask you, we can both have what we want! I love you and want to spend time with you. I don't want to ask you many times to get ready."

This is the harshest discipline Isaak has gotten. He's had timeouts, gotten sent to the landing to figure out problems with Mica, sent to his room because he won't respect other people, but never something so dear to him taken away. Taking movie time from our kids is no big deal. They don't get to watch a whole lot of TV anyhow. But swimming is dear to him.

I questioned if we were being too hard on the little guy? Daddy said, "No! He wouldn't get ready. He didn't want to go bad enough." I know he's right. Looking at Isaak I see a boy trying to grow up, but I also see a baby still. Maybe I baby him too much.

I wonder if he learned? Is he going to get ready next time? I guess we will see.


Natalie said...

I have the same issues with my son as well. He is 3 1/2, and Hubs thinks I baby him. The stage where they start to repeat everything we say is cute, but has become something he gets in trouble for now. When he tells me "No" when I ask him to do something he gets corrected. I think you did a great lesson for your son. Not sure if I could have done it :/ Now to figure out that tantrums "falling on the ground, crying and screaming" any suggestions :)

Travis Apel said...

Natalie, try not to fly off the handle and be animated. That is the kind of attention he can easily get. If my kid did that in a grocery store, i would go to him, crouch down and whisper in his ear, "Son, I know you are a big boy, I have seen you cooperate many times before and that makes mama proud. I would love to see you cooperate now." Then I would walk into the next aisle and see if he gets up and follows. (He does not want to be left alone!) If he does not follow and screams bloody murder, sorry, I don't know what to tell you. Good luck! -Daddy Apel

Natalie said...

Thanks! Though he hasn't done it in public just yet, so that's a good sign right? And yes I do the whispering in the ear as well, works great for me. And I am very good at "ignoring" and just moving along with out even noticing sometimes.

~ Noelle said...

yeah... we are having these issues too now.. he is telling us no often... not a fun thing when it is time to clean up/get ready... we are working on those things now


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