Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hugs for Hits

I have a new strategy for my Isaak man. He's the youngest of the 3 boy's he hangs out with on regular basis. He was always left out and called, "The baby" of the family.

Now he turns from sweet and sensitive to mean and defending himself. If a child tries to take a toy from him, he'll wack them with it. He throws and hits.

I've watched all the boy's play; I really don't blame Isaak for being mean to the other kids. The boy's often yell out, "Isaak's the bad guy!" Then they all run from him laughing. Boys! My co-worker that has 7 children told me that the youngest is always the nicest and meanest at the same time. Now I know what he means!

I was giving Isaak lots of time-out. Many times we had two time-outs going; one for each kid. Then yesterday I thought of a new strategy. Isaak was about to clock Mica for taking a toy from him. I said, "Isaak come here!" Before he could hit, I made him give me a hug. He was happy to give me a hug. Then he forgot about the toy altogether. Most of the time it's a toy that is Mica's. A toy that isn't meant for age 3 and under. I'm not saying that it will be like that every time; forgetting about the toy someone grabbed from him. At least some of the time we can take negative attention and turn it it into being positive.

Daddy started something good as well. He whispers instead of yells. A whisper is sacred; they seem to listen to it. That is if they are not too worked up. Like if he's having a temper tantrum, he's not going to listen to a whisper. If I want to get him to do something, a whisper works great.

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