White Boy Privilege

My boys go to a Leadership Camp that's way North in Omaha. They've gone for many years. 

This is shortly after they started. They look so little. Isaak's now almost 11, and Mica's 13 and 1/2. Mica's taller than I am, and growing an unfortunate mustache.

Where it's at, we are the minority. Omaha sadly is very split up by race and culture. It's supposedly the best place to live for families, but the worst place to live if you are in the minority.

The head of the program really likes our boys.

We've gone back and forth from loving the program, to thinking our boys don't fit or raise questions about how it's run (the staff has high turnover because it's Saturday nights), and back to loving it again.

Truth is, I love our one night a week without the boys, how they get a taste of being the few white boys among many dark skinned kids, how they can pass on their leadership skills to those that struggle with them, how they made Isaak research a different culture each week, talk about budgeting, and want Mica to work for them when he's old enough.

Nonprofit:

It's a nonprofit organization, so we always have to fill out paperwork on our kid's behavior. It's hard because Mica's been in the program, but we've struggled with him because he's in the thick of puberty. He's a good student, and we have our good days, but he's not a task/hands on kid. That's where we struggle.

Isaak took a break due to basketball, and he's been great at home.

Their paperwork probably wasn't all that they wanted it to be. The program hasn't made Mica better. In fact they think he's great. Ask him to do the dishes at home, and it's a struggle.

We had a family night, which we all hadn't been there for awhile.

On With the White Boy Privilege: 

We gathered to eat dinner, for family night.

I had donated slotted spoons to the organization because the older team leaders that are just slightly older than Mica would serve the wet green beans with regular spoons.

Mica said, "The bread is soggy, and the chicken is sloppy."

Isaak just wouldn't eat. 

I said, "What's wrong? You always eat your food. A little slow, but you still eat it."

Isaak said, "Mom I can't eat chicken that looks like that! It has the bones showing!"

I said, "What can I tell you? Chicken looks that way. I just get it boneless skinless because it's easier, and doesn't stink up the trash."

Isaak said, "Mom I can't eat food that has the skeleton showing!"

Travis said, "I'll eat it! Why won't you eat your green beans Isaak?"

Isaak rolled his eyes.

I said, "Because they aren't fresh green beans like I make. They are canned green beans. My guess is, is that he won't eat his fruit cup, or plain bread either. The fruit is in a liquid. He's used to fresh fruit. He's used to having jelly, jam, honey, or peanut butter on his bread."

I was right! Isaak went without eating.

I said, "What are you going to do when they start the new tier you're going to be in?"

Isaak said, "Eat before I go."

I said, "I don't think so. You're just going to have to get used to chicken on the bone."

Travis said, "I think we'll be buying that way, so he can get used to it."

I never really thought much about being privileged as much as I did that night. I have to admit that "Skeleton Showing" on his chicken is pretty funny. We're middle class, but I certainly feel privileged when we're there.

Is there a time where you felt privileged? 

Random Tid Bits

1. Mica looking at the ad below, "Why do they call it Double Quarter Pound King, when they could just call it Half Pound King?" Us, "Good question." 





2. We also discussed during one breakfast this week what an Oxymoron is. Mica said, "It's like freezer burn. Two opposites in one word, or set of words." The Great Depression is another example. Isaak said, "I bet butt cheeks is an example of an Oxymoron." Possibly! Ha! Can you think of an Oxymoron? 


3. Another season of basketball was wrapped up a few weeks ago. Isaak loves it! He's getting more aggressive with getting the ball. That's a good thing in sports. A few of his team members had issues. The coach's son was getting in trouble at school for talking. The coach kept him out for all the games! Then one twin had violent problems. The other twin was great! He took off his shoes, and threw them across the court, yelled at the ref, slammed the door a few times, would slam the floor when the other team had a free throw and more. He too was out the rest of the season. Isaak couldn't believe how the one twin acted. 





4. We may be ending our relationship with the Leadership Camp the boys go to on Saturday nights. We love having some time away from the boys. I loved what the organization stood for: Building Leaders.
   
   • They are getting less consistent with their discipline tactics. Our boys don't need to be disciplined, but they see the lack of consistency with other kids.
   
   • Their turn over rate for workers has been really high lately! Mica got snapped at for touching insulation. Well he didn't know it was full of tiny particles of glass. Cover up the insulation with a blanket! There's tiny kids that go there. Insulation looks like pink cotton candy.
   
   • Our boys are in the minority. The organization is all about equality, yet my boys are always picked last for every game, or event. There is a thing called reverse discrimination. I wanted my boys to get a taste of it, but it not be their every Saturday night!
   
   • When we pick up the boys they have to ask our names every single time. It's not that big of a group.
   
   • I feel like our boys are leaders already in many ways.
   
   We'll see if they can talk us into staying, but as of right now I think we're leaving when it hits the next tier. 


5. Travis started teaching at a Catholic elementary school this week. They needed a sculptor resident teacher a few days a week. I think he now gets how much work there is in being a teacher. He gets paid well. That doesn't account for all the prep work. It really doesn't account for all the help his wife and boys helped him with either! It will be a great experience, something to put on his resume for sure. Good luck to him! It's his first day, and I'm writing this Monday! We cut out many cardboard pieces for Kindergartener's to make a puzzle sculpture (560 to be exact), strips of colored paper for them to add to their sculpture. He cut out lots of wood bases for older kids to make a wire sculpture, with pantyhose on top, and Gesso on top of that. Lots of colored pieces cut for some older kids to make a 3D shape. Teaching is a lot of work. Especially when you first come up with a project! The rest should be easier! They have days to complete their projects. 

Leadership Camp

A few weeks ago our boys started back up at their leadership camp. It's Saturday nights.

They usually have Tiers that go all throughout the year, but have breaks between them. Within the Tier they have what they call Capitols, which include: Financial Capitol, Social Capitol, Culture Capitol and so on. They do different things in each one.

All this month they have field trips to different places. It's 5:30 to about 10:45. Saturday nights the boys are up pretty late! 

Their first field trip was to Alley V, which I've reviewed before. It's a place with all kinds of fun things: 

They have: A bowling spot, better than bowling alley food, pool, arcade games, laser tag, and rock wall climbing. 

Isaak came back with all this loot:

I guess Isaak was rolling in the tickets.  

If I was there I would have helped Isaak pick out things.

• Isaak picked out 2 guns. Not that boys can't play with guns, but it's looked at as such a negative toy now a days. I don't think that just because boys play with guns that they are going to turn into mass murders. Boys see themselves as heroes when they play with guns. I really only get Nerf or Super Soaker guns for the kids. Plus these guns make noise, which annoys Travis so much. 

• He got an off brand Lego set.

• A table tennis set he was super excited about! 

• A candy necklace. 

I'm pretty sure Isaak got the most loot out of anyone. 

Last weekend the boys went to The Amazing Pizza Machine. 

Mica said, "Mom they have a buffet there. The first time I went up I got salad, pizza, and some healthy things. The second time I went up I loaded my plate with sweet treats!" 

Isaak said, "Mica you got pizza?! I couldn't find that!" 

Mica said, "Isaak you just have to read. There was a big sign that said, 'Pizza'. It's called, The Amazing Pizza Machine." 

It sounded like they had fun! 

Then Travis said, "They mentioned that Mica needs to work on talking with the other kids his age. Mica tell Mom why you don't talk to the kids your age."

Mica said, "Well all they talk about is sports and fidget spinners. I don't get into sports, or know anything about them. Fidget spinners are ok, but they just spin around. I don't get why people like those so much." 

I emailed the leader of the nonprofit to explain that Mica isn't stuck up, or shy. He's just not into sports or fidget spinners. But...my email was 3 paragraphs long. I felt the need to explain how I've been in his shoes before. I'm the only artist girl in a family that has 7 nurses. When they talk I can't relate. They have so many abbreviations for medical things. If I started talking about color theory to them they wouldn't understand all of what I was saying either. 

Mica's smart enough to know that he's going to sound like an idiot if he starts to talk about sports, which he knows nothing about. 

My advice to him was to change the subject in between conversation, and/or ask why they like sports so much, or what teams they like and why. You can not get into something, but still have a conversation about it. I do get how he feels though.

Mica's a movie buff, loves to read, is into Legos and Star Wars. He likes school, and doesn't think of it as a drag. He's a nerd with a funny personality. 

Travis said to me, "You really don't have to write him a book to get the message across." 

I had to shorten what I wrote. I tend to over write. I just want people to understand where I'm coming from.

Yesterday the leader for the camp wrote back explaining how much of an asset Mica is to the camp. When they have Capitols Mica really shows how smart he is, which pushes the others to bump themselves up. He was glad I wrote him. 

I had mentioned if he had any more advice on Mica relating to the other kids to just let Mica know. 

Have you ever been in a situation where a bunch of people relate to one another, and you're the odd man out? How did you deal with it at the time?

My Little Leader

Not the best photo in terms of quality, but I like the content.

The boys started back up at their Leadership Camp: Banister Leadership Academy. 

They have breaks here and there.

It's Saturday nights from 6:30 to 10:30. It does kind of run late for all of us. It gives us time away from the kids. They seem to enjoy our boys because they for the most part are pretty positive little guys. The boys enjoy their program. 

Isaak did have problem with a bully last session. That kid got kicked out of the program. One of our goals that we wrote down for Isaak (we have to write a goal each time) was that he learns how to deal with bullies. That way the leaders know it's an issue that needs to be resolved. I wouldn't say Isaak gets picked on a lot, but he shows his emotions on his sleeve. Kids see that.

They write up forms to tell you how your kids have been. Isaak's gotten comments on the form about how he talks out of turn at times. We had him write down things for himself to help with zipping his mouth when the leader is talking. That seemed to help. The whole camp isn't about the kids being quite. It's just key times. 

What do they do at this camp?

They learn about keeping a budget, they have group trust activities, they have math exercises, they have gym/play time and more. 

Each week they talk about one key thing: Respect, Responsibility, Trustworthiness, Citizenship, Caring, Fairness, Honesty, Perseverance, Integrity, Courage, Unity and Creativity. 

They have new leaders this time around. Isaak's leader has been having him write down facts about different countries to take to camp the following week. 

He's learned about Australia, Brazil, and Japan. 

We have Isaak look up all the information about the country he is learning about on his own. He can use his Kindle. He only needs one fact, but he writes down about five. 

Then we talk about it. 

It's really great that he takes initiative with learning more than he needs to. For two weeks he hasn't gotten called out for talking. Yay! 

I have to say that this camp has grown on me. For awhile I was annoyed about the bully incident. It's a leadership camp. No kid should have to put up with bullies in a camp with that direction. They do try and take in all kids - especially kids that are troubled to make leaders out of them. They did deal with the bully. Our kids seem happy to go. In fact there are times when they say, "When is Banister?" I enjoy the family nights. They have lots of activities for us. :) 

Recent Camps

Back in May I went to a camp event that was sponsored by the boy's school district. A whole bunch of camps had tables to sign up for them.

It was really helpful. 

One form I filled out was for Banister's Leadership Academy. This was a camp not everyone could get into. They said it is difficult to get into actually. The cost is free. The camp is Saturday evenings. I was beginning to think that the boys didn't get in. It was well into June before we got a letter from them. When the letter came in the mail it wasn't clear what the camp was about. There was an orientation, so we went to check it out. 

They went over: 

Disciplinary Action: They send the kids to a timeout, and discuss both sides of what happened, and why they are in trouble. They always have a progress report for every kid at the end of the night. 

When it is: It's every Saturday from 6:30 to 10:30 PM. I was a bit thrown off with how late it is at first. Our kids go to bed about 8, and are asleep about 8:30 or 9 PM. I knew it wouldn't last for, forever. It lasts 4 weeks. It makes a great date night for us. 

Where it is: It's at Omaha Home for Boys. The kids are locked in to ensure their safety. 

What They do: They start off with games like UNO, Chess, and more. Then they have Pizza Hut. Later they do a leadership activity, which changes every night. Lastly they go to the Rec Room to play pool, air hockey, foosball, and in the gym they can play basketball. 

I admit I was nervous the first time I dropped them off. They didn't know anyone, and I knew they'd be getting done so very late. As soon as Chess was pulled out I knew they were good. 

Aftermath:

When we picked up the kids the first time they were all sweaty. They played hard! They were super talkative about everything they did. I guess Mica was the one that got the "I" word right after going to just one session = Integrity. 

The next day Isaak was upset that it wasn't camp day again. They are used to camp days that are in a row. Mica said, "Mom I think it's funny that they call each other homies instead of friends there." It is primarily African Americans that go there. The camp leaders talked about it being diverse. I think my kids make up that diversity. I'm really glad that they are there. They love it so far! 

I came to the realization how divided our wanna be big city really is with the color of skin. It's sad. I drove to the next camp mentioned below, and it was full of caucasians. Why? Because of the part of town it was in. That camp costs money to. We really teach our kids racism. 

I've been listening to the educator Jane Elliot, and I love how she teaches about racism. It's harsh, but needed in my opinion. If you've never watched any videos with her I really hope you do. Just type her name in YouTube, and she'll come up. She separates elementary kids, and college kids in the classroom by eye color. When kids are told they are stupid, or not pretty their test scores go down. As harsh as it is, I wish every classroom went through her study. 

The other camp the boys just went to was Camp Zorinsky. That ran all last week. It's an outdoor day camp. It's a ways away, so I felt like I was driving a lot that week! We got there early many days because I didn't know how long it would take to get there. Photo opportunities I guess.

They went over:

Canoeing: Mica quickly learned that, that is a group activity. This was the first for the boys.

Fishing: Isaak caught 3. He was so excited. Mica didn't catch anything. They practice Catch and Release. This was the first for the boys. 

Archery: They've both done that before and have loved it.

Swimming: There was a mishap. Isaak dived in a spot where it was too shallow. He says he was told he could dive. Boom he scraped his nose. I'm so glad it wasn't worse. It could have been bad. We had a few talks about pool safety. I'm putting that in a category of crap happens. I'm not playing the blame game.

Nature Hikes: Both boys got really sunburnt during this camp. There are less trees, and more lake at this place. Kids lack on reapplying sunscreen, and moved to applying aloe vera gel. Mica's ears blistered up, and I felt bad for Isaak's poor nose with the scrape and a sunburn. They had to wear hats. These are the only hats they have that cover their ears. They look like rice farmers.

Camp Songs: Are always at the end. I get to hear the boys sing them all week. Lucky me. 

I told you Isaak doesn't like his picture being taken. HA!

What have you been up to?