WW: Grandpa {Linky}

Last Tuesday I didn't post a WW because I was miles away at a funeral. I thought about not posting this, but death is part of life. I wrote about my Grandpa passing away, but never wrote about his funeral. I say - he lived to 93 years young. I have nothing, but happy memories from my Grandparents on my Mom's side. My Grandma died many years ago from Alzheimer's. My Grandpa just like most people at 93 was really forgetful. The brain has to age just like the rest of your body.

Just this year I taught Grandpa how to take Selfies.

A few months back he went to the hospital, and lost 1/2 his blood. Even the doctors were surprised he made it through that.

This time he fell really bad. He was all bruised up, but didn't break anything. They did find a tear in his vertebrae by his neck, that was from an old fall. He was doing well, sitting up, and eating, had a massive seizure, and that was it. I'm so glad he went that way. They wouldn't have operated on his neck. Living with pain isn't the way to go.

I felt like I was doing ok at the funeral. Mica was a Paul Bearer for the first time.

My cousin asked if they should line up in age order, or height order? Mica at age 14 is 6 foot.

Isaak wasn't a Paul Bearer, but sure was cute. 

He's with his youngest cousin Edison in this photo.

I saw my Great Uncles and lost it. I know they are so close! One lost his wife, his daughter, and now his best friend and brother, my Grandpa. The other had just gotten out of the hospital two days prior to the funeral. On all there were seven of them.

To top it off, when we went to go to the graveyard one of my Great Uncles was using a cane my Grandpa had made for him. The cane broke, he fell, and had to be rushed off to the hospital. He's ok. Just a big egg on his head!

We had a military service. My Grandpa went into the Navy.

Kind of random, but my Grandpa always had a stash of hard candy in hidden in his car. He loved Root Beers, Butterscotch, and Coffee. I passed a few out to people I was around.

Each Paul Bearer left their boutonniere on the casket. I have no idea if that's a tradition, or not.

We left roses on our family member's graves. My Grandma was Dorothy.

So much of me thinks of life being like a circle. One person dies, another is born. Just like seasons, and our calendar revolve in a circle. 

Who is the closest person to you that's passed away? 

I'd have to say my Grandma Dorothy was to me.

Random Tid Bits

Let's count all the ways the Apel family is busy!

1. Travis landed himself a gig at an elementary school. They wanted an artist to teach sculpture to the kids there. He had to test run some projects. He tested them out on Mica. Isaak got super jealous. We had to explain that Isaak's not the age group Travis needed to test these projects out on. They are wire on wooden blocks. You put knee highs over the wire. Then you can paint the knee highs with Gesso. It looks like a legit sculpture. Something you'd find in a gallery.


2. Travis also is wrapped up in an organization called Omaha Permaculture. They like his art. He likes them. The director of the group wants to hire him to do things from time to time. 


3. Travis has been modeling for a college class. You'd think with all these gigs we'd be rich! Nope we need health insurance that doesn't suck!


4. I had a doctor's appointment for that "thing" in my head. YAY! I'm cancer free. I didn't think it was cancer, but when the doctor pulled it out he said, "I'm glad we're sending this in to be tested. It was behind the muscle. It's a tumor too!" I actually had what's called a lipoma, which is in fact a tumor. I probably have had more of them on my scalp. They are super common. It's just fatty tissue build up. Some people get them after a major surgery, but I've had this one before my nose surgery. In my case it's more hereditary. In the next 4 weeks it will dramatically get lighter. I have to keep wearing sunscreen, otherwise it will turn pink. 





5. I've had a few interviews. I think it's safe to say that no one from my work reads this blog. Even if they do, they wouldn't blame me for looking around. Enrollment is way down. I'm highly respected, so they aren't going to fire me. I forgot how long it takes to fill out job applications, update my resume, fill out cover letters, work on design pieces for my website and so on. It sucks because I like my job that I have now overall. I really love my first year students. 


6. When I was trying to find an old employer, it brought on sadness. He was my first nice boss when I got hired on as a designer in Atlanta. Why was I sad? He's not from here. He's from Iran. Apparently he moved back to the Middle East to United Arab Emirates. I'm sad because it's hard to use him as a reference. Beside the personal part of it, I just hope the US didn't make him feel unsafe and unwelcomed. He was a super nice person and business man! I found him on facebook, and messaged him a thank you, for being you kind of message. If he would have begged me to stay before we were mostly packed up, I would have stayed. Our lives would be much different. I had 1 boss before him that was from Pakistan; he was not so nice. I was happy to have this nice boss. He was an inspiring leader. 


7. Next week is midterms. The week before midterms is always super busy too!


8. Isaak of course has been busy with basketball, Isaak will begin his Science Fair project, Mica's been busy with his project moving up in the Science Fair. We've had conferences, after school events, and birthday parties. 


9. Mica's school had a walk out. I'm ok with protesting if you know what you're protesting about. Somehow I think with middle schoolers they really don't have a clue. Travis talked with the boys for an hour about school safety, school shootings, what people are protesting for, and so on. The next day Mica's school had a verbal treat. The student that made the threat was searched by a police officer. I'm not surprised. Scary indeed. 


10. I can't forget the ice. A few ice storms last week made it difficult to get around. The car was in the shop for most of a week. What a mess that was! 

What have you been up to? Is your life super busy right now?

Random Tid Bits

The things I've learned as a Mother. 

I do have to say I had a one up from babysitting a lot when I was younger. I was a regular babysitter. I enjoyed it to. I had a another one up for my oldest sister Angie having my niece when she was 18. My niece Kailey lived with my parents for a few years. That certainly help prepare me for Motherhood. She shared a room with my sister and I. There was a lot I knew, and some things I didn't.

1. As a Mom I thought I'd have control over my child's clothing choices, and hairstyles. They are boys. Boys don't care about things like that. -Not true. My Mom always helped pick out my clothes, and she went through pictures with me as to what to do with my hair. I always have ideas on hairstyles I like for boys. I even have a pinned board on hairstyles for boys. Mica and Isaak don't like what I like.
   
   It's fine. I'm glad they have opinions, likes and dislikes. It's great I'm raising independent thinkers. Dad has his opinion on these things to. My Dad growing up never cared about our clothes, or hair. As far as clothing goes I buy them what they are into. I usually get to pick it out though. I keep their tastes in my mind though.


2. I used to think that kids are A) Brats or B) Great Kids. It's not as black and white as that. They go through stages. Our kids are good kids overall. They do well in school, eat good, sleep good, usually help when asked, but sometimes need reminders. There were different times where both kids went through a stage where they didn't want to leave Grandma and Grandpa's house. They'd refuse to get their coat and shoes on, and they'd cry the whole way home. 20 minutes of listening to a kid scream and cry, while driving can make anyone go insane.
   
   They love Grandma and Grandpa's house because they are nice, don't give them very many tasks, feed them throughout the day, and give them lots of TV time. I'm glad that was just a 3 year old stage. During that time I thought I was going to pull my hair out. I thought I was messing up as a mom.


3. Growing up my mom got mad at us for little things like our shoes being in the middle of the floor. Once she had Grand Kids she said, "Alissa you have to learn to choose your battles." She has done this more as she had grandchildren, and I have done this as a parent to.


4. I learn along with my kids. Somethings that they do in school is different than what we used to do. They teach me, and I teach them.


5. They're all different. I don't like the comment, "Boys are easier to raise than girls.", "Girls are easier to raise than boys.", or "The second one is easier because you'll know what you are doing." Each child is different, they all go through stages.  We all have our happy moments, and our moments of struggle to.

What do you feel like you've learned while being a Mom or Dad?

Today We Close a Chapter in Our Life Book

Today is my husband's last day of employment. I think I've cried more times than he has worried. When he went in on Monday he handed 2 of his co-workers thank you cards. They've been with him for 14 years. The act of him just purchasing the thank you cards made me cry. 

When he came home he told me that his boss didn't tell his 2 coworkers about him being let go at all. I think that his boss is so ashamed that he had to let Travis go. The thank you cards were unexpected. His coworker Steve got teary eyed. When I heard this I cried again. 

*I'm not even at that hormonal point in the month. I remember making fun of my mom for crying over movies and shows. Here I am a slobbery mess. I'm turning into my mom, only worse.

The thing is, I'm not crying over money really. Well maybe a little. Mostly it's the closing of the chapter that's lasted so long.

Tuesday night at the Y we went to a Family Fitness class. Mica and Isaak automatically want to play tag with me every time. Maybe it's because they know they can tag me much easier than their Father. We played tag, and kickball there. Guess who hurt his back at some point during the process? Dad of course. At the end the girl in charge asked if we needed a card to fill out? If you go for a certain number of times you get prizes. I looked at her, shook my head and said, "After this month we won't be going to the Y for awhile. My husband lost his job." I explained what happened. I don't want anyone thinking my husband did anything wrong, because he didn't. I know tears filled up in my eyes. 

We went home, and Dad grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer to put on his back. In the process of putting them back in the freezer a giant bag of berries fell out, busted and went all over the floor. At that point I had to laugh. Sometimes laughter has to take over tears. Your life is comedic after a certain point of disasters around you.

At Ju-Jitsu tears happened again. We're on a 3 month hold after this month. We won't have to pay a sign up fee if we decide to go back. We can close our account completely if we decide to go that route. I know they have scholarships for those that make less money, but right now if I spend anything I want it to go towards camps in the summer to keep the kids busy. It's just sad because Mica's been going there since he was 6, and now he's 9. Both boys are getting better at the martial art. 

My little {what used to be selfish} Mica said, "Dad if I win that writing contest you made me enter; you can have the money." Last night Mica said, "I want to start delivering papers for the family." We said, "Why?" He said, "You know to bring in some money." - I love that kid! Of course he's only 9, and we're not waking up at some crazy time in the morning to deliver papers. It's the thought that counts. This proves we've done something right with our kids. 

Where Travis works there's 2 businesses inside the building. They are pretty close to the other business. One lady said last week, "Hummm...I wonder when cookies will show up again?" That translates to, Your wife Alissa should bring in some cookies for me to eat.

As soon as he was asked to leave I made cookies. I don't over eat when I'm stressed, but I do want to bake. Conversation heart cookies were made. For one of the first times in Travis' life, he helped me pipe the words on. I said, "We should write typical things for my work: Cute, Sexy, Love, Hot... For your work we should write: Bye, See Ya, It's Been Fun..." He loved that idea.

For My Work:

For His Work:

He said, "If I'm doing this I'm going to write some naughty ones. I'm losing my job anyhow." I said, "That's perfect." He used his imagination in regards to "FAH Q" and "AH SOUL". You may need to use your imagination as well to figure them out. I said, "I hope your boss doesn't think you are calling him those words. He said, "They'll laugh. Who cares if he does think that."

 
Do you get sad/happy when your life changes? I cry over happy times to. Like when we got married, and had our babies. I've cried at sad times like when my Grandma passed away. I think it's human nature to be scared in regards to change. It's not like I think we're going to drown in a lake. I just know that what we're used to is going to change now. 

Travis has an interview on Friday, he's going to the unemployment office to fill out that stuff that day to. On Saturday he is modeling for a local art place. I just hope his back is better by then! Luckily for us a fellow friend/mom owed us a favor. The boys get off school early on Friday, so she's taking them. They'll love it because they love her, and she's taking them out for ice cream. 

Human nature is interesting. Change is vital to get better. Change is also very scary. I know I'll be a slobbery mess when my kids leave the nest. 

Random Tid Bits

1. My first year students are really bad with deadlines this year. I take off for them being late, but it does nothing to motivate them. 


2. I'm trying out essential oils to help with my allergies. Daddy rolls his eyes at me and says, "Really! You're into witchcraft now." I'm willing to try alternative things if they help.


3. The boys spent the night with their cousins last weekend. I know why my mom hated when we had overnights as children. Little sleep = grumpy children the next day. At least they had fun.


4. I feel like I have a pretty good relationship with both of my sisters. Do we see eye to eye all the time? No. I wouldn't see eye to eye with anyone all the time. I just wish that the two of them would talk. I'm really tired of being in the middle of a no talking war. My husband's family has people in it that don't get along as well. It makes family events stressful. I just want everyone to play nice so to speak. I get that getting along doesn't always happen. There is major things that can go down in a family that can split people up. This no talking war could easily be solved by each of them realizing that they just have different opinions, and let it go.    


5. I got my flu shot last week. My doctor's office is seriously 5 minutes away from my work, which makes it so handy. I like getting flu shots at the doctor's office because insurance covers it. $15 isn't too much, but x that by a family of 4, and it adds up. At the doctor's office I don't have to fill out paper work because they have mine on file.

The boys get their shots this upcoming weekend. It's great they make Saturday appointments. :) I've always had them get the shot over the mist. I just have more faith knowing that they get the shot. Anything with a mist doesn't always mist. My boys are generally pretty good about it. I give them a pep talk about why we get shots, and how they are helpful. Grandma had Polio a few years before the vaccine came out, and Isaak had Meningitis before he was old enough to get fully vaccinated for it. I used to get allergy shots, so there is plenty to talk about. In the end I hear, "That hurt, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was." Sometimes Isaak limps, because he's over dramatic.

Why get the shot? I know so many people say, "I never get sick." That's my husband. Guess what? He one year got sick with influenza. He missed 2 weeks of work, and felt like he was going to die. I hear others say, "I always get sick even when I get the flu shot." The flu shot is meant to cover influenza. It's not meant to cover the common cold, sinus infections, pneumonia, bronchitis, or the stomach flu. Influenza will knock you on your butt. Even though those that have weakened immune systems are more likely to get influenza, anyone can get it. I have bad allergies, so I'm more at risk, and those that are around my nephew Emerson that really has a weakened immune system should get the shot. Medical staff members have to get a flu shot to keep their job. I hear others say, "I get sick from the shot." I'm hear to tell you I've been getting the flu shot ever since they started making them, and I've never gotten sick from it. I just get a sore arm. If you've gotten sick in the past it's more than likely a coincident. Have I had my doubts over flu shots and vaccines? As much as I'd like to say, "No." I can't. I have had doubts. Isaak got meningitis right after he got his first immunization for meningitis. Of course I've had doubts. Think about all the crap that is gone because of immunizations: Polio, many forms of Meningitis, Small Pox, Chicken Pox which can lead to Shingles, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, and more. All of it could come back because not all countries have immunizations. Do immunizations cause Autism? One doctor claimed it did, but he only tested his theory on a handful of patients. All of which had Autism. It's been disproved that immunizations actually cause Autism. - You can read more about Autism and vaccines here.   

By The Time He’s Done Brushing His Teeth, This Kid Will Be Dead

I thought this was such a good video! I wanted to pass it along. This is a person's life in one video.

Today I'm Sad

Isn't crazy how emotions can go up and down? Two nights ago I found out that one of my students lost her nephew. It was a still birth. My student had tears in her eyes. I wanted to say, "I know how you feel." Of course I don't exactly know how she feels. Everyone experiences things differently. She's wrapped up in finals and couldn't be there for the birth and death of her nephew.

With everything we've gone through with Trisomy 18 - I feel for anyone losing a baby! I felt so scared even when my own boys got sick! With Mica they didn't know what to do with his staph infection. They didn't know why his neck kept getting bigger. With Isaak they couldn't figure out if he had bacterial or viral meningitis. It was so scary seeing those white blood cell counts go up and up.

Then this morning I checked Facebook and one of my students I had a few years ago just passed away for breast cancer. That's what mad me really sad! She met her husband here at school. She found out she had breast cancer in her late teens, early 20's. They did radiation. She lost all her hair, a ton of weight. She tried so hard to just LIVE LIFE. Her husband and her were a perfect match. They made each other laugh. He didn't have to marry her knowing that she was sick. He stepped up and did what was in his heart. I really respect people that are like that. I stood back on the sidelines rooting for them. When someone gets breast cancer that young, I know there's a good chance that it will take over their existence. It did.

Here my student is...she was a fighter.

Then my sister (Aunt Terra) called me and asked if I'm going to the preschool graduation tonight. Isaak and Cousin Elijah are not graduating yet. Terra knows how I feel about preschool graduations. I think they are WAY overdone! You can read what I think on them here if you'd like. We'll be going. Then Terra tells me that a little girl in the boy's class just lost their baby brother or sister. It was a still birth. I just saw the happy pregnant mom at the Mother's Tea just 2 weeks ago! Terra's sending her a note. I started to think about how the preschooler is more then likely confused why there is no baby and why mommy and daddy are so sad. It just makes me so sad.

I'm going to end with a video that really makes you appreciate life and death.

Emerson is 3 Weeks Old Today

Although this little guy has caused some major life changes, he is so cute! Emerson has had a major upswing this week. He's gained weight, is awake more often, has better strength and is able to breastfeed more often.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thinking of My Youngest Sister, Brother-in-law and Nephew's

My nephew Emerson's feeding tube came out last night. Hospice came to fix it, but his color hasn't been the same since. He's had 2 apnea spells.

Please let Emerson feel loved and safe.

Please help his Mom, Dad and Brothers feel at peace.

"Hitch your wagon to a star." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Treasure the Life that You Have!